ALBERT HERTER

PUNS FOR EDUCATED MINDS. THIS PUN IS FOR YOU! ROCK ON FROM PARIS. ‘EDUCATED MINDS’….. FRIGHTENING THOUGHT EH????

In Uncategorized on September 3, 2010 at 17:31

Puns for Educated Minds

1. The fattest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference.

He acquired his size from too much pi.

2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned

out to be an optical Aleutian.

3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.

4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class, because

it was a weapon of math disruption.

5. No matter how much you push the envelope, it’ll still be

stationery.

6. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for

littering.

7. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum

Blownapart.

8. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

9. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are

looking into it.

10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

11. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

12. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said

to the other: ‘You stay here; I’ll go on a head.’

13. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

14. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: ‘Keep off the

Grass.’

15. The midget fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small

medium at large.

16. The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a

seasoned veteran.

17. A backward poet writes inverse.

18. In a democracy it’s your vote that counts. In feudalism it’s your

count that votes.

19. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.

20. If you jumped off the bridge in Paris, you’d be in Seine.

21. A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The

stewardess looks at him and says, ‘I’m sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed

per passenger.’

22. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and

says ‘Dam!’

23. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in

the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can’t have

your kayak and heat it too.

24. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, ‘I’ve lost my electron.’ The

other says ‘Are you sure?’ The first replies, ‘Yes, I’m positive.’

25. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a

root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.

26. There was the person who sent ten puns to friends, with the hope

that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.

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  1. Reblogged this on intueating and commented:
    Humor is intuitive house-cleaning..

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